Keep Women Healthy

Before starting a new self-care routine, spend some time really thinking about why you need more self-care (dig a little bit here—is it because you work too hard, always put others before yourself, etc.?), as well as what you hope to achieve. “Maybe you want to be calmer, more focused, or to feel better. Once you’re clear on this, you can use it to help you choose what will be a good activity or routine to incorporate,” says Jane Scudder, a certified coach and motivational speaker.

Check in with yourself to make sure your most basic needs are being met. “Secure your oxygen mask before assisting others. We hear it on every flight, and it’s essential for life as well,” says Rebecca Newman, LCSW, a Philadelphia-based psychotherapist. “This means making sure you’re sleeping, showering, eating nutritiously, taking your medications, and drinking water at a minimum before you can assist others.”

Carrie Krawiec, a licensed marriage and family therapist at Birmingham Maple Clinic in Troy, MI, recommends breaking down potential activities by size. “Small may be taking a shower by yourself, whereas medium may be going to lunch with a friend. Large could be a weekend away,” she explains.

Once you’re clear on why you want to engage in more self-care and have ideas, get it all down on paper, says Krimer. She suggests writing down your motivations, self-care options, and anything that might get in your way. “Is it that you’re telling yourself you don’t have the time? Is it the belief that you need to focus on others and not yourself? Is it that you don’t think self-care will have a positive impact on you?” This can be a one-time exercise, or you can turn it into a journalingpractice, which may help you reach your goals as well.

Don’t set yourself up for failure by trying to do it all at once. It’s important to be realistic about your self-care routine, which means starting small and building up. “If you are just starting off, then a 20-minute daily meditation, three to five trips to the gym weekly, half of every Sunday spent exfoliating and meal prepping, and 10 minutes each morning and night on gratitude practice is likely going to last for a day—max,” says Scudder. “Pick one or two things to start, and be realistic, patient, and gentle with yourself.”

While your goal may be to meditate for 20 minutes at a time, anything is better than nothing; consistency is key to making a habit stick. “It’s better to exercise every day, even if it’s only three sun salutations, or a five-minute YouTube core workout, than to focus on length of time,” says Tamsin Astor, PhD, author of Force of Habit: Unleash Your Power by Developing Great Habits

It may seem silly to schedule something as simple as a 5-minute yoga break or 20 minutes to read, but setting aside that time—and fiercely protecting it—is key to creating a self-care routine that sticks. “Think about creating time for self-care within your regular routine instead of keeping it separate. You wouldn’t cancel on a meeting at work or a plan with a friend if it was in your schedule, so including time for yourself to manage stress or exercise in your schedule will help keep you on task in the same way,” says Samantha Markovitz, a certified health and wellness coach and founder of GraceMark Wellness & Lifestyle Coaching.

No, don’t actually eat a sandwich—unless that’s part of your self-care. Astor uses what she calls the 3 S’s of habit cultivation: same time, same place, sandwich. “When you add a new habit, sandwich it between two habits you consistently practice consecutively. It’s much more likely to stick,” she says. “For example, sit to meditate between brushing your teeth and showering.”

“As women, we’re often expected to say ‘yes’ to many demands throughout the day. This happens both at home and at work,” says Josephine Hardman, PhD, an intuitive healer and spiritual coach. “One of the most crucial ways to practice self-care is to work on saying ‘no’ in order to protect your energy, space, resources, and sanity.”

At the very least, give yourself time to consider before saying yes right away. Hardman notes that though it may feel like you’re being selfish, “by putting yourself first and breaking the pattern of habitually saying yes to everything, you’ll have more energy and vitality to extend a helping hand to others.”

Sometimes it can be difficult to hold yourself accountable, so try finding a friend or a group to help. “Participating in a public self-care challenge on social media, with friends, or at work offers a level of accountability that some people need to stick to their goals,” advises Nedra Glover Tawwab, LCSW, founding therapist at Kaleidoscope Counseling in Charlotte, NC.

If a group isn’t your thing, even just having one go-to person can make a huge difference. “Find someone with whom you can share goals and encourage one another. Never underestimate the power of having your own personal cheerleader,” says Garvey. At the same time, you may also want to distance yourself from people who are unsupportive of your goals, she says.

Accountability is one thing, but comparing yourself to others—especially on social media—can be detrimental. “The more that you compare yourself to others, the more you hold yourself back from true happiness and giving the world all that you have to offer,” says Lauren Zoller, a yoga instructor and certified life coach in Nashville.

One solution? Cut back on your social media time. “Decreasing your time on social media will give you free time to focus on the qualities YOU bring to the table, not someone else,” says Zoller. “Compare yourself to who YOU were yesterday, not who someone else is today.”

As the old saying goes, perfect is the enemy of good. “If perfectionism is holding you back, practice giving yourself the space to let things get messy,” advises Zoller. If you let busy thoughts swirl around in your head during meditation, or fall out of a yoga pose, it’s all ok. “Nobody in the history of time has ever created something that was perfect. In fact, most of the most brilliant success stories were created from bouts of extreme failure. When you allow yourself the freedom to let go of perfection, you open the door to create something new,” she says.

There’s plenty of research out there to show the power of positive affirmations, so why not use them as a tool in creating a sustainable self-care routine? “For example: ‘I’m taking the time for yoga, because this hour nurtures my mind and my body and my spirit,'” suggests Garvey. “Although the process of tapping into the power of these statements is very simple, do not let the simplicity fool you. Affirmations that are diligently embraced can transform a non-productive habit into a new positive reality.”

Take time to recognize yourself practicing self-care in the moment, and appreciate your long-term success in sticking with your goals. “Celebrate your wins and strengths,” says Benjamin Ritter, MPH, founder of Live for Yourself Consulting. “Take the time each day to recognize the areas you have succeeded, and your personal strengths. List each of them out specifically and review them daily.”

Rather than let a blip in your self-care routine get you down, plan for it. “This is not to be negative, but the reality is the best-laid plans get broken sometimes. Maybe your kid is sick, a flight is delayed, your website crashes, or a client pitch corrupts,” says Cudder. “The point isn’t to jump to how you’ll get back into the swing of it, but rather you should develop a way to be with yourself when something gets in your way of your self-care.”

Source: https://www.prevention.com/health/mental-health/g25935471/self-care-routine/